Ain’t no two ways about it. I am stubborn. If you don’t believe me, ask my wife. I believe that something is one way or remember it a certain way, sometimes it takes a lot of convincing before I will stop and reexamine my position. That does not mean that I am right or wrong. It just means I am stubborn. It often boils down to time. It takes time to reevaluate one’s position. It requires research. It requires self-examination and reflection. All too often, I feel I don’t have that luxury. But is that really pragmatic and should the relevance of whatever I am questioning also play a part into how much time I spend on it? Still, I respect the opinion of others and I believe that finding time to reexamine my position is not only important but often conducive to cementing my ideas in one direction or another.

Case in point; I have I have almost finished the third movement of my first symphony. I’m very happy with it and am excited about finishing it. The other day I let my wife hear what I had written so far. She loved it. She thought it was beautiful. She loved all of it… except bars 108-116. This just happens to be one of my favorite sections. It is where I transition the melody from major to minor and I used some unique chords to provide that transition. It’s quiet but a little disconcerting to the ears. It is not dissonant. It is just not what my wife expected to hear. Her words were that it made her uncomfortable.

I don’t want this to turn into a discussion of which point of view is more important, the listener or the composer. I think they are both equally important. But the dilemma that I face is the question “If I truly believe that what I have written says exactly what I mean, should I give in to the listener to make them more comfortable?” My initial reaction is “Sometimes, music is uncomfortable” and that would be a legitimate statement. A lot of major composers write uncomfortable moments and those are usually part of a transition. In truth here, though, the music is not all about me. It’s also about the musicians and the listener. That is not me throwing in the towel, raising the white flag or surrendering my sword. It means that I respect my wife’s opinion enough that I will reexamine the passage and I will solicit additional opinions and then I will make a conscious choice as to whether to rewrite the passage or leave it as it is.

So, I am back to drawing a life lesson from my music again. If I acknowledge this stubborn streak in me in regards to my music, what about the rest of my life? The conclusion that I come to is pretty simple. If I love and respect the people around me like I say I do, then it is only proper to extend them the simple courtesy of respecting their opinions. It is not about them being right or me being wrong. It’s about respect. Sometimes, I am going to remain firmly convince that my choice is correct, but I will do it with loving consideration of those around me. Sometimes, I will have to accept the fact that I am in error and again, with loving consideration, alter my perspective. That’s just life. But it is life based on the respect of others rather than the hubris of self and I really believe that is where Christ wants me to be.

Every piece of music should contain certain things if you want people to remember it.  I’m not talking formula here.  I hate music created by formula.  I’m talking substance.  I’m talking essence.  I’m talking story line.  I know that there are people that would disagree with me over this because they confuse story line with purpose.  Bach’s inventions, for instance, were created to help pianists with their fingering and technique.  I am here to tell you, though, that I have never heard a Bach invention that doesn’t tell some kind of story while it is teaching you.  If you aren’t telling a story with your music, it all too often will wind up flat and unmoving.

Each and every piece of successful music has a beginning, middle and an end.  You have to have a beginning to get someone’s attention so that they will listen to the rest of the piece.  The middle must contain enough substance to keep the listener’s attention and speak to them while the end should leave then satisfied, knowing that they have heard what the composer and musician have to say.

I directed a play once that had wonderful characters.  It was from a play-writing competition.  I chose the piece because of the characters and their interaction with a moving plot.  It was very well crafted.  The only problem I had with the play was that the author was writing it as the first play in a trilogy.  For that reason, he did not bring closure to the play.  He meant for it to end somewhat like a television serial drama where the questions go unanswered at the end of each episode and if it is the season finale they leave you hanging until the following season.  But what happens if the show gets cancelled during the summer and the questions never get answered.  I’ve always felt that is a disservice to the audience.  You can leave them wanting for more without making them hate you for not finishing what you started.  I had to have a talk with the author and force a new ending on the play.  I just couldn’t leave everything unresolved knowing that we would probably never do the next two plays.

Music is the same way.  You must have a beginning, middle and an end.  You must have some sense of conflict and resolution.  That doesn’t mean that is has to be fast, loud or dissonant.  It simply means that you have to tell a story and the “the end” should leave the listener satisfied that they can now applaud.  Have you ever been to a performance where the audience did not know when to applaud?  It’s embarrassing.  It’s embarrassing for the composer, musicians, director and audience.  It is just not a good experience for anyone involved.

The ending can be subtle but still sure of itself.  It can also be blatantly obvious.  The point being that the ending should obviously be the ending and not leave the audience confused.

Life can be like that.  We start things that we don’t finish and leave people hanging.   Everything we do should have a beginning, middle and end.  If it doesn’t, we feel cheated; incomplete.  We become unsatisfied.  God wants us satisfied.  He expects us to finish the tasks He sets before us.  It brings fulfillment to not only ourselves, but those around us.  Take a look around at the project that God has you working and make a commitment to complete them in a timely manner.  Trust me, it will give you a true since of satisfaction and fulfillment and will open the doors for God to entrust you with bigger projects in the future.

I’m not a big fan of change. I know very few people that are. I know that in my music, sometimes change is necessary. Changing keys can help build intensity. Changing tempo can add help return focus. Changing instruments can add flavor. Changing volume can place emphasis. Sometimes my music gets into a groove and I know that something has got to change just to keep the listener’s interest. But change for the sake of change can lead to a different kind of rut where change is anticipated and expected and thus is no longer change. Change must have purpose.

Changes in music can be small and almost negligible. For instance: slipping from a violin line to a viola line in your melody. Sometimes they are hard and dramatic; let’s add a crashing cymbal. Sometimes it can mean just slipping in a little swing or syncopation to lighten the mood. The point being that the change should be for the benefit of the listener, not the composer. You have to ask yourself where you want to take your listener and how best can you get there. The last thing you want is for your listener to get bored and move on to something else.

Now, I say that from a musical standpoint. There are times when the composer has to change as well. We get stuck in a rut writing what is comfortable and what we are writing lack substance. That means it is time for a change: time to open up our mind so fresh ideas and embrace the high road even if it is the more difficult path.

I think my life is like that. I get comfortable and balanced in a routine. I don’t want to upset the apple cart because it is much easier to keep the status quo. Unfortunately, everything in my life suffers when I do that. I don’t pay as much attention to the people that are important to me. I have trouble focusing at my job. My music becomes lackluster. The only way to deal with it is to recognize it for what it is and embrace change. Change in attitude. Change in spirit. Change in the way I do things.
Sometimes it doesn’t take much to get me back where I need to be. I take a different route to work. I listen to some music that I don’t normally listen to or don’t listen to any music at all so I can hear the sounds all around me. Sometimes I swap my prayer time around or spend more time in the Bible. Other times, it’s much more difficult. But half the battle is realizing it for what it is and accepting the fact that I have to do something about it.

No excuses. Stop being fearful of change and embrace it. It doesn’t have to be drastic but let the change take you on a slightly different path so that you can experience something different. Your music and your life will be the better for it.

I am somewhat rhythmically challenged. I always have been. This is something of a challenge for a composer. It is just an awful truth that I struggle with rhythm. Most of my friends have it. For me, it’s a constant struggle. I can hear the rhythms in my head. I can even beat them out with my hands, but putting them down on paper is a monumental task. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the concept. I understand the notation. I just struggle to make it happen the way I hear it in my head.

I am sure that there have been other composers who also struggled with this affliction for which I can find no cure. Often a musician can’t see the pain, feel the angst, experience the pangs that the composer went through to make that rhythm work in the music. I am currently working on the third movement of my first symphony. It truly is a labor of love, but there are times when I am writing along and the melody goes blank. The rhythm is lost. At these times, I have to ask myself, do I really want to keep with the rhythm I have established or move on to something else? I reached that moment 4 minutes and thirty seconds into the third movement.

For three days I wrote various melodies and rhythms only to delete them and start again. At some point during the day on Monday, I heard a tango. That was the trigger. I thought to myself how unique it would be to drop from ¾ time into 4/4 and use a tango type of rhythm and melody. After all, the third movement is called The Dance and the first 4 ½ minutes are really a waltz. Well, that’s where it started. What I ended up with is not a tango but it did help me find the rhythm and melody that I needed to move forward.

Will I ever write a tango? Possibly. I do like the Latin rhythms, but that really isn’t the point. The point is that I was Stuck with a capital ‘S’ and God found a sneaky way to get me unstuck, which is a huge relief. It took me 4 days to write 4 bars of music and this morning I wrote close to 40 bars and have direction again. It’s funny how that works.

But life is like that, not just music. We get so involved with our work that we forget the source of our strength and inspiration and suddenly find we have painted ourselves into a corner. We really shouldn’t beat ourselves up about it. It is human nature. But, when we find ourselves in that spot, our relationship with God gives us a decided edge. We can stop painting and spinning our wheels, look around at what we have done to ourselves, admit our failings and let God provide the path out. People without that kind of relationship discover that the only real option they have is to slowly back out of the room painting over the footprints they are leaving behind and it still always creates a mess. Isn’t it wonderful that God loves us even in our failures.

In the meantime, I really wish He would grant me some rhythm. 